a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
