Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
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You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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