Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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