saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
