did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize