listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
