Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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