My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
