I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
