So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
