Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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