whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
