My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
high people should be assigned attendants
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
