do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize