we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
