Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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