What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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