We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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