I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
