i can't believe i had my finger in that
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
