bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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