forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
