But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize