You work out of a Hotel?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
