It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think my tv is drunk
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize