I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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