And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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