i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
