So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tornado booty call.. dedication
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
