Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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