yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
