White coat. Heels.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
And then he peed in my hair
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