I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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