Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize