the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
