Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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