You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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