So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I need moral support for this bender
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
