tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize