For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
