tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MIDGETS
????
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
