whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
