I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
