Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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