I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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