I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
