The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
