Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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