he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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