Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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