So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
