Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize