Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
