Three words: puerto rican gang bang
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
