Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
