I bet he comes in French.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
