garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
