took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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