your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
