Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
